Thanks, uh... You know uh, this is weird uh... 谢谢你，呃......你知道呃，这是奇怪的呃...

Most of us have dogs, allright? [applause] 我们大多数人的狗，还好吧？ [鼓掌]

I don't know if it's a local thing where I live, or if it's everywhere, and I'm checking it with you because uh, I don't get in the area that often and I'm just checking to see if... 我不知道这是否是我住的地方当地的东西，或者如果它无处不在，而我检查它与你，因为呃，我不明白的是经常和我只是检查，如果看到的区域。 ..

There's a new kind of a dog treat. And uh (where I live) and they're available in the pet store and for the longest time I just thought that it was some kind of a prank. Or uh... 有一种新的狗治疗的。还有啊（我住的地方） ，他们是在宠物商店提供最长的一次，我只是认为这是某种恶作剧的。或者，呃...

I wasn't really sure what it was, until I read the label on the back and it said "Bull Penis" [laughter] 我真的不知道这是什么，直到我读背面的标签，它说：“公牛阴茎” （笑）

I was a little shocked! I know you can get just about ANYTHING in this world. 我有点震惊！我知道你可以得到任何东西在这个世界上。

You can get a whale's pancreas if you'd want one! I can get you one! [laughter] 你可以得到鲸鱼的胰脏，如果你想要一个！我可以给你一个！ [笑]

But com'on, a bull's penis! How busy they were their whole lives. 但是comon ，公牛的阴茎！他们怎么忙都是他们的整个生活。

And they throw it to a dog, like that, for a snack! [laughter] 他们把它扔了一只狗，这样，对于一个小吃！ [笑]

Now, are they available here in the Los Angeles area? They are, aren't they? 现在，他们都可以在这里找到在洛杉矶地区？他们，不是吗？

Doesn't that make you a little weazy? 不会让你有点weazy ？

Makes you wanna live a long time. 让你想活得长。

And on the back, on the bottom it said: "100% natural"! 而在背面，底部也说： “ 100％纯天然” ！

I mean... that's the part that really got me. And it said: "A Real Meat Snack". 我的意思是......这是真的让我的一部分。它说：“一个真正的肉小吃” 。

There's just no dignity in that. Uh, anyway... 这里还有没有尊严的。呃，反正...

The other thing is that they're 36 inches long! [laughter] 另一件事是，他们36英寸长！ [笑]

They're so long they had to cut them into bite-size portions. 他们这么久，他们不得不把它们切成一口大小的部分。

And then they take two of them and braid them together. 然后他们把他们俩和编织在一起。

I know, I know! I never want it done. But uh... 我知道，我知道！我从来没有想要它完成。但是，呃...

This is a song written for Gregory Peck for his dating my mom... 这是格里高利·派克，他约会我的妈妈写一首歌...

That's a lie! 这是一个谎言！