We got a little serious there. 我们有点严重存在。

I think "fisting" should be called "upper-cunting", 我觉得“拳打”应该叫“上层cunting ”

And we're back. 我们回来。

   

Do you guys like impressions? 你们喜欢的印象？

(Yeah.) （是啊。 ）

"Why?" That was Socrates. “为什么？”这是苏格拉底。

   

Older traditional stand-up comics sometimes have problems with me 旧的传统的直立式漫画，有时有问题，我

Because they think I use music and other stuff 因为他们认为我使用的音乐和其他的东西

And they think I'm a gimmick, I'm a hack, you know, I'm a gimmick comic 他们认为我是个噱头，我是一个黑客​​，你知道，我是个噱头漫画

And they're such comedy purists, they don't think my comedy can stand on it's own. 而且他们这样的喜剧较真，他们不认为我的喜剧可以站在它自己。

But the truth is, I'm a comedy purist, too. 但事实是，我是一个纯粹的喜剧也。

So I can do comedy without gimmicks. 所以我可以做喜剧没有噱头。

I'll show you that right now. 我会告诉你，现在。

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? 你叫什么，没有胳膊和眼睛补丁的孩子吗？

Names! 名字！

For those listening on the CD, I just gave birth to a dove. 对于那些听的CD上，我刚生下一只鸽子。

   

I love traditional stand-up comedy, don't get me wrong. 我喜欢传统的单口相声，不要误会我的意思。

I love it. I'm a huge fan of traditional stand-up comics. 我喜欢它。我是传统的直立式漫画的超级粉丝。

A lot of them are my heroes. 他们中的很多都是我的英雄。

And I want to be a traditional stand-up comic 我想成为一个传统的直立式漫画

And I've been working on some traditional stand-up material and 我一直对一些传统的站立材料

It's in its infancy so, please, bare with me, go easy 这是刚刚起步的话，请，裸陪我，去容易

But this is a bit of my traditional stand-up. 但是，这是一个有点我的传统的站立。

   

My wife, right. 我的妻子吧。

We never have sex. Like, ever. Which is really funny. 我们从来没有发生性关系。如，永远。这实在是可笑。

Something else, I never know what she's saying. 别的东西，我从来不知道她在说什么。

She'll say something and I'll be like, "pft." 她会说些什么，我会说： “ PFT 。 ”

You know, she's constantly emasculating me 你知道，她不断地阉割了我

And I'm making her resent herself for getting older, 而我做她的怨恨自己的年纪越来越大，

So we're looking into a divorce. 因此，我们正在研究离婚。

And, you know, something else that's really funny: 而且，你知道，别的东西，真的很有趣：

She can't drive. The only thing she can drive is 她不会开车。她唯一可以开车的

"Drive me crazy," and when she back talks, I hit her. “让我疯狂”，当她回来的会谈，我打了她。