It's funny how some fables became historic 这很有趣，怎么有些寓言成为历史

When the authors clearly wrote them to be metaphoric 当笔者清楚地写道：他们是隐喻

But people will believe anything if it's written 但是人们会相信任何东西，如果它是写

Especially in stone or ancient scroll 尤其是在石头或古老的卷轴

December 25th has been blacklisted 12月25日已被列入黑名单

Since Dawkins found the proof Jesus never existed 由于道金斯发现证明耶稣从来没有存在过

It was the last thing anyone ever expected 这是最后的事情没有人预料

Xmas has been X'd 圣诞节已经Xd

   

No colored lights, no shopping sprees 没有颜色的灯光，没有疯狂购物

No more presents under dead trees 在枯树没有更多的礼物

St. Nick is dead but we don't grieve 圣尼克死了，但我们不悲伤

We celebrate the last Christmas Eve 我们庆祝过去的平安夜

   

Jesuits are slowly turning Dianetic 耶稣会慢慢地转向Dianetic

Protestants increasingly become agnostic 新教徒日益成为不可知论者

Pentecostal churches are hanging pentagrams 五旬节派教会挂五角星

Priests and Nuns are molesting each other 神父和修女被调戏对方

Methodists and Baptists are claiming Buddhist 卫理公会和浸信会自称是佛教

Evangelicals surprisingly are Nudist 福音派出奇的是天体

But mostly everyone is trying to become Jew 但大多数情况下每个人都在努力成为犹太人

Cuz Easter's canceled too 复活节的Cuz的取消也

   

No more egg hunts, no Sunday mass 没有更多的蛋狩猎，无主日弥撒

Fridays are fair, Wednesdays don't ash 周五是公平，三不灰

They canceled lent and slowed down fast 他们取消出借和快速放缓

Enjoy Christmas cuz it's your last 享受圣诞节因为真的是你最后一次

No shopping sprees (don't worry son) 没有疯狂购物（不用担心儿子）

No more presents (We don't need christ) under dead trees (We got eight nights) 没有更多的礼物（我们不需要基督）在枯树（我们得到了8晚）

St. Nick is dead (we got mitzvah) but we don't grieve (The're all canceled) 圣尼克死了（我们得到了成人礼），但我们不要悲伤（ There全部取消）

We celebrate (our hanukah) the last Christmas eve 我们庆祝（我们的光明节）的最后一个圣诞节前夕