I heard the old man’s voice break, stutter once then stop it. I heard 我听到老者的声音打破，口吃一次，然后停止。我听说

A sentence started confidently halted by the sudden absence of a word. 一个句子开始信心十足地被这突如其来的情况下一个单词的停止。

Stumbled and he sputtered trying to find it back, something once so simple gone now. 迷迷糊糊地，他气急败坏试图找回来，现在的东西，一旦这么简单了。

When he finally gave up told me, “Aw, it’s like hell getting old.” 当他终于放弃了对我说， “哦，这就像地狱变老了。 ”

   

When you came into the store, did you know you’d show me your scars? 当你走进店里，你知道你会告诉我你的伤疤吗？

   

I had a heavy heart, he carried a door, it’s shattered pane all wrapped in plastic and he asked if I could fix it, come by a little later help him put it back on hinges. “See, I’m far too old to lift it and it’s not for my house, 我有一个沉重的心脏，他扛着一扇门，它打破了窗格中的所有包裹在塑料，他问我是否可以修复它，都受了一点后帮他把它放回铰链。 “看，我就太老了，抬起它，它不是我的家，

It’s my son’s.” 这是我儿子的。 “

   

When you opened up the door, what is it you thought you’d find? 当你打开了车门，它是什么，你以为你会找到什么？

   

(Nobody flinch) （没有人退缩）

   

Later I came by and backed into the driveway. Got out to find him waiting there to lead me through the side yard to back behind the house where the door frame stood empty and helped me keep it steady while I hammered all the pins in then later on the porch we somehow got to talking, he told me of the house and how is son is schizophrenic so they purchased it for him, the medication working and they figured it would help him fit in-help him lead a normal life. 后来我走过来，并被逼到了车道。下了车，发现他等候在那里通过侧面的院子里放回原处门框站在空房子后面，带领我，帮助我保持稳定，而我敲定所有的引脚再后来就不知怎么，我们一定要说话了门口，他告诉我的房子又是怎样的儿子精神分裂，使他们购买了它对于他来说，药物治疗工作，他们想这将帮助他适应，帮他过正常的生活。

   

But the pills made him sleep too much. And he couldn’t keep a job as a Result so one day he just gave up on taking them. 但是药丸让他睡得太多。他无法保住工作的结果终于有一天，他刚刚放弃了对服用。

And that day she had called you, he’d locked her outside of the house. 而那一天她打电话给你，他就锁定了她的房子外面。

   

How quickly did you get there? And what were you thinking while walking up? What fears flashed in front of you, taunted you, walking to unlock the door? 如何快速你到达那里？什么是你想边走了？在你面前闪过什么恐惧，嘲笑你，走路开门？

   

I remember it, Ed. That story you told me came back clear tonight here while writing. And you should know the feeling never left me-the weight of my heart-when you showed me the scars on your arms, when I looked in your eyes and I heard what you said how you probably would’ve died were it not for to care for your daughter and wife. How he drove in the knife, still your son. 我记得，埃德。这个故事，你告诉我，回来了，今晚显然这里边写。你应该知道这种感觉从未离开过我，对我的心脏重量，当你给我的伤疤上你的武器，当我看着你的眼睛，我听到你说怎么你可能已经死了，如果不是要照顾你的女儿和妻子。他怎么开车的刀，还是你的儿子。

   

How you seemed to look through me to some old projector screen playing back the scene as you described it on a movie reel, as real as the minute when it happened, that memory moving behind me. That moment that changed you for good. 你怎么好像通过我找一些老的投影屏幕播放场景像你描述它在电影卷轴，真实的，因为当它发生的一刻，即内存移动我的身后。那一刻改变了你的好。

   

And he drove to the house and pulled into the driveway. Got out to find his wife waiting, frantic. She’d come by to check, found that pillbox was empty, went out to the pharmacy to fill up his prescription and came back to a locked door and could not get back in. She’d knocked and she’d knocked but he wasn’t responding. 他把车开到了家，并拉进了车道。拿出来寻找他的妻子在等待，心急如焚。她会来通过检查，发现药盒是空的，出门到药店填补了他的药方，回来一个锁着的门，无法取回。她会敲和她撞倒，但他WASN T响应。

   

You put the key into the lock and turned it. Felt the bolt slide away. Slowly open. Went into the hall, his son held a knife, standing off in the shadows, lunged forward and tackled him. Stabbing him over and over and breaking that window. He fled up the staircase. The ambulance came, stitched and filled him with blood while the cops took his son with his wires so tangled his father was a stranger. 你把钥匙插进锁里转动。感觉螺栓滑走。慢慢打开。走进大厅，他的儿子持尖刀，在阴影中站立了，向前扑来，并解决他。捅死他一遍又一遍，并打破该窗口。他逃到了楼梯。救护车来了，缝合，充满了他的血液，而警察把他的儿子和他的电线那么纠结他的父亲是一个陌生人。

   

And I sit in my apartment. 我坐在我的公寓。

I’m getting no answers. 我没有得到答案。

I’m finding no peace, no release from the anger. 我发现没有和平，没有从愤怒的释放。

I leave it at arms length. 我把它保持一定的距离。

I’m keeping my distance. 我保持着距离。

From hotels and Jesus and blood on the carpet. 从酒店耶稣的血在地毯上。

I’m stomaching nothing. 我stomaching什么。

I’m reaching for no one. 我伸手任何人。

I’m leaving this city and I’m headed out to nowhere. 我要离开这个城市，我出发去无处。

I carry your image. 我将你的形象。

Your grandfather’s coffin. 你爷爷的棺材。

And Ed, if you hear me, I think of you often. 和ED ，如果你听到我，我想你频繁。

That’s all I can offer. 这就是我可以提供。

That’s all that I know how to give. 这一切，我知道怎么给。